This is part of what God has
revealed to me this summer as I have had time to reflect on the work He has
done in my life
Matthew5:14-16
"You are the light of
the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp
and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the
house. In the same way let your light shine before others, so that they may see
your good works and give glory to your father who is in heaven.”
Throughout
my time being part of youth ministry as a student I was blessed to be part of a
ministry that valued community and mission work. I’ve been on the mission
trips, and the church retreats and have experienced my fair share of the “Jesus
Highs”. After my sophomore year in high school I went on a church retreat to
South padre and felt a strong burden to get rid of all of the sin in my life. I
knew that God’s plan for my life did not include falling into the temptations
this world has to offer. I struggled with insecurities, a lack of confidence in
who I was, lustful desires, and a desire to please others more than God. I came
back from that retreat and was fired up to change my life. I was determined to
make “this time different”, or to not “fall back into the ways of this world”.
I had been on almost every retreat the youth group had to offer but still,
every time I came home I had this determination to eliminate sin, and to live a
life for god.
But
inevitably I ended up failing. And each time, it tore me apart more and more. I
continued to fall into sin and I just felt a crushing weight that I wasn’t good
enough, that I wasn’t holy enough, that I was doing something wrong, I thought my life had to be completely
“fixed” in order to be a “solid Christian”.
Romans 8:1-11
1 There is therefore now no
condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 2 For the law of
the Spirit of life has set you
free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. 3 For God has
done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son
in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, 4 in
order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who
walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For
those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the
flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things
of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to
set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. 7 For the mind
that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's
law; indeed, it cannot. 8 Those who are in the flesh cannot please
God.
The truth
is, I was doing something wrong. I was not loving Jesus Christ as I was meant
to love him. I wasn’t living for Christ like God intended for me to live. I was stuck living a life stuck under the
weight of managing a life of sin and it was a weary life to live because I was
not finding joy in my relationship with Christ. I was not finding joy in
pursuing a relationship with Jesus.
After
my junior year of high school I went on an 11 day long mission trip to El
Salvador. While we were there we partnered with 4 different orphanages. That
trip was one of many turning points in my walk with Christ. I didn’t realize it
at the time, but after much reflection I have realized it was that trip when I truly started to walk with Christ for the purpose
of spending time with the Lord and not for the sake of self -improvement, or
fixing my life. It was an incredible turning point to recognize the sin in
my life for what it was, and I slowly noticed that the more I focused on Jesus
by seeking him through worship, prayer and the word, the less sin had roots in
my life. The more I sought Jesus and a relationship with him, the less sin had
an overwhelming, crushing weight on my day-to-day walk. It was like I had been
released from the pressure to perform, the pressure to be liked, and the
pressure to live a perfect life.
Romans 8:5-6
5 For
those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the
flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things
of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to
set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace
What would our lives look like if our relationship with Jesus
actually revolved around Jesus, and not the sin in our lives?
What I mean
by this question is this: So often we
ask the question, “How is your walk with Jesus going?” My answer to that
question has always centered around a checklist of some sort. Am I struggling
with lust? Am I reading my bible a few times a week? Have I prayed every day?
My
answer when asked about my relationship with Jesus is never actually related to
God or Jesus but my efforts in being a “good Christian”. But what if we made
Jesus Christ the center of our spiritual efforts. I know if my relationship
with Jesus revolved around him I would experience a life of joy. I would truly
be living as though I were dead to this world and alive in Christ. I would
truly be living on mission for God because I would be doing so with his Son
right at my side. My acts of service, my prayers, my time spent in scripture,
and all of my “spiritual efforts” would have a purpose: not to fix a life
weighed down by sin but to develop an intense, passionate and fiery
relationship with Jesus Christ, our creator, our caretaker, our lover, our
stronghold, our refuge, our king and the Son of God.
Romans 8:35-39
“35 Who
shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or
persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
36 As
it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed
all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be
slaughtered.”
37 No,
in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For
I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things
present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of
God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Richmond Howard
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