Service

          Part of our Youth Staff training this summer was a book study over the Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. This book has challenged the way I live, and more than anything it has taught me how to grow in my faith. This summer has not been a time of intense spiritual growth and my heart is not radically different either. But this summer has taught me how to learn, how to study the bible, and how to work on the condition of my heart. One of the disciplines Foster outlines in the book is Service. Service is something I have never quite been able to "master". I've been on mission trips to Mexico, New Orleans, Atlanta, El Salvador, and Joplin, Missouri. I've woken up at 4am to feed the homeless a few times a year and I will occasionally go out of my way to help a friend. I have gone out of my way to help others in need and sometimes it is purely for helping others and not for any sort of approval I could expect in return. But my life is lacking service as it is outlined in the bible. Doing so selflessly, not for approval, simply to serve the needs of all.

"Radical self-denial gives the feel of adventure. If we forsake all, we even have the chance of glorious martyrdom. But in service we must experience the many little deaths of going beyond ourselves."
"Nothing disciplines the inordinate desires of the flesh like service,and nothing transforms the desires of the flesh like serving in hiddenness. The flesh whines against service but screams against hidden service...It will devise subtle, religiously acceptable means to call attention to the service rendered." 

         These two passages convicted me. So often do I wish God would give me an opportunity to do something radical. Something so counter-cultural to this world that people would recognize it as an act of spiritual roots. This desire is two part; seeing Christ move through me, and myself being recognized as the hands and feet of something radical. Healing someone, going on a mission trip to Africa for a year, dropping out of college to go to Seminary, sacrificing everything for God. All of those are incredible things that God can work through. But the ulterior motive here that reflects the condition of my heart is to be seen performing these acts of obedience.  All of this is rooted in and continues my habitual sin; Pridefulness. This book has outlined a way to work through this and change the condition of my wicked heart. And that is found not through grand acts of "radical self-denial", but by adopting a lifestyle of servitude, to find joy in the smallest acts of service; washing the dishes, cleaning the youth room, mowing the lawn, prayer, to be in tune with the needs and wants of others and to serve indiscriminately. 

"True service is a life-style. It acts from ingrained patterns of living. It springs spontaneously to meet human need."

         The opposite of this holds true for me. For years I have lived with ingrained patterns of adding to my pride. That wicked pridefulness now springs spontaneously from my heart to protect me when I am made vulnerable or feel exposed. It covers up my shortcomings and I use it to ignore the sinful nature that is right beneath the surface of a confident and godly demeanor. Scared of what I could uncover if I took a pause from the busy pattern of my life to examine the true inward condition of my heart.

"True service rests contented in hiddenness. It does not fear the lights and blare of attention, but it does not seek them either....True service is free of the need to calculate results. It delights only in the service 

          One thing I plan to change is a renewed sense of prayer. Prayer is a simple way to serve and love each other without making it known. Going directly to God and asking Him to cover the needs, to help them walk through the valley of the shadow, to be their stronghold in hard times, for them to grow in their faith. Prayer is a powerful tool of ministry and in spiritual warfare. Prayer can also be a hidden way to serve without any sort of recognition. 

Summer 2012

              This summer I had the opportunity to work at my church in Austin as an intern with the Middle School ministry group. It was an absolutely incredible experience. Getting to lead a bible study, teach sunday school, and go on a retreat to Colorado were all growing experiences for me. But the best part of the summer was spending time with the kids. Middle schoolers in general are crazy. Middle school guys are a different breed. Going into the internship I wasn't too excited about working for the middle school group. I was really interested in working with high school kids. But God placed me there for a reason. He opened my eyes to see the joy that middle schoolers have and to experience the happiness I felt leading them. This summer I finally got to experience my calling of vocational ministry and it created a passion in me that hadn't been present in my life for over a semester. Getting to talk to kids about their faith, to see new believers borne, and to enjoy the awkwardness of middle school interactions, this summer was a huge blessing. Nothing in this life has ever brought me more joy than one night at a church retreat in Colorado called Great Escape. 6 years exactly after I first accepted Christ into my life, I got to witness three of the kids I was closest to take that monumental first step in their spiritual walk.
              Moving forward I want to apply what I learned this summer to my life back at A&M this fall. The idea of treating college as a mission trip. Pouring out my energy to serve others, and help them experience Christ. Implementing spiritual disciplines like solitude, fasting, study, and prayer into my life on a weekly basis. Diving into the word and studying the truth in new ways. This summer was not a time of growth like I had hoped it would be, but it was a time of learning how to grow. This semester I want to grow closer to Christ, not through legalistic confines and to-do lists, but by experiencing Christ in new ways through fellowship, study of the bible, and prayer. I'm looking forward to sharing this experience as I grow in my relationship with God and look to build community around me.